Thursday, October 28, 2010

Milf Moustache

Odd request I'm fulfilling here. My gay friend asked me at work why guys enjoy MILFS so much. So, Grant Ziegler, your proclaimed MILF expert is here to give all an insight as to why MILFS are so hot to guys my age. If you're a starter at this game I'll let you know that MILF stands Mother I'd Like to Fuck. We're not talking 14 year old hispanic mother types, we're talking "soccer, take my temperature, minivan, 35-50 year old" MILF.

This all started when a friend of mind at work noticed most of the moms (MILFS and not so much MILFS) that came into the store, flirted with me quite a bit. He even witnessed one of them spank me on the ass with a movie. Which believe it or not, isn't all that uncommon in my store. This is usually a monthly occasion for me. My friend is homosexual and inquired about why I would flirt back or be even remotely turned on by and I quote "women whose vaginas aren't located properly anymore due to childbirth." He doesn't have a DILF complex so this does require some explanation for him. Anyways, welcome to MILF 101.

First of all, experience. MILFS didn't become MILFS by saying "no." They, in most cases, know what they're doing and they do it well. Youthful enthusiasm combined with motherly know how can make for a very steamy night. Not calling MILFS sluts, they've just been around long enough to know what you want and know what they want. When both parties can be in agreement, electricity tends to happen. Secondly, in my encounters, MILFS don't play all the love games so many so called "hotties" like to play. I've witnessed men in clubs/bars give up their whole life savings on drinks for a girl who wouldn't even sleep with them. These "hotties" terrorize men by giving them just the little shred of hope to keep them hanging on by a thread so that they can manipulate guys into giving them what they want w/out having to give anything back.

Now MILFS on the other hand have shit to do. They don't play these games because they have somewhere to be in the morning. If you're worthy enough, a MILF will have you fucked and home by midnight because the MILF has an important meeting in the morning or has to get home to feed the little one(s). Play your cards right and don't be an asshole and chances are it will work out. A subnote to the above point is that many MILFS in this situation usually do not look for strings attached. They needed love one night and one night only and you don't have to come around anymore. No relationships, no worries of her child calling you "daddy" someday. This is a huge plus for guys because there is no pressure on us and we can perform better for you. We don't have to worry about a woman falling in love and then the guy having to get the fuck outta her apartment before she wakes up. It's agreed, it's just plain adult fun and nothing more.

Also, if a woman believes she won't see you again she may be more apt to try things with you that she was too afraid to try with someone she wanted to impress. Inhibitions are limited at times and who knows, she may want to be choked or she may want to choke you. That's just an example.

Honestly, you've never had a truly great night of wild sex until you're sent home with a fruit roll-up or a juice box. Maybe even a lunchable. I remember having a Wild Cherry Capri-Sun after a wild night with a mom I met at a Judas Priest concert. It was amazing. Great music, great sex, and I relived my childhood memories of great juicy snack drinks. I hadn't had a capri-sun in probably eight years up until that point. If you do actually stay the night with a MILF chances are you're staying with a good cook. You wake up after a great night of sex to the smell of whatever the local flavor is that morning. She is a mom, so the chances are good that she'll know how to cook something good for the both of you. True happiness to a man is having a good feeling in his pants and a good taste in his mouth. Sometimes those things occur at the same time. MILFS are good for both.

Alright, those were the easily noticable and physical reasons why men like MILFS. For psychology purposes, have fun with this explanation. Men always have some sort of infatuation with their moms. I'M NOT SAYING THEY WANT TO FUCK THEIR MOTHERS! I'm just saying, that most men find mom to be a security blanket and a place in their brain where they know they can to be okay. Men enjoy the being with an older woman because they find a comfort level in MILFS like they did with their mom. Whether it be a form of cuddling or mom bringing food to you when you're sick. It's just a mental state that make men feel comfortable. When men are comfortable, they can more easily obtain arousal. The touch of an older woman can trigger a part of the brain that reminds of them of mom. It may sound creepy or odd but it's true. Freud may have been crazy at times but he had good points that still hold true to this day. We've covered up the psychology part of MILFS so we can be attracted to the idea of it with out being intimidated by it.

But really, our MILF addiction is no different then Freud's theories aside from the fact guys don't want to fuck their moms, they want figures that remind them of their moms. So there you go everyone. MILFS are awesome for all the above reasons and more. I'm sure there are many more things others can add to this list. Personal experiences and reasons why MILFS are hot to them.

I'd love comments on this that agree or disagree with me and why. Hopefully this cleared the air for my MILF hating homo friend (JK Eric, I love you) and for any one else who was confused as to why men enjoy mommies the way we do. Sometimes, being called a motherfucker is a compliment :wink:

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